X.’s learning

Today, during lunch break at church, X. stepped into a deep puddle of murky water while trying to pick up some sticker he spotted. I had told him not to. He got his shoes and socks wet, of course. I nagged and nagged at him as I took them off. He was even smiling and waving to other church members that passed by. Walking back to the chapel barefooted, he was grinning all the way. I believe he didn’t quite get why I was so upset, and he thought walking barefooted was a game.

Why do I make life miserable for a little baby sometimes by nagging and speaking harshly to him, when half the time, he has no clue what he did wrong, and the other half, he was terribly saddened or frightened by my anger? I need to be more gentle and sweet . . . and just relax and let him be the baby that he is.

Yet, at times, he seems to learn his lessons. I have tried to toilet train him. He would run off when I take off his diaper and purposely pee outside of the potty, laugh and run off again. I punish him by locking myself in the bathroom. It terrifies him that he can’t get to me. I used the same tactic once again when he refuses food and throws them on the floor. These past few mornings, upon waking me up, he would do the peeka-boo gesture, then shakes his head, points to the floor and twiddle his fingers. He got it, that he must not pee on the floor, nor throw food on the floor, or else Mama will hide and disappear.

Another lesson he’s picked up: when he gets into the elevator, he no longer pushes the emergency button, which is the only button low enough for him to reach. He still goes towards the button but each time, he points at it, shakes his pointer finger and his head to mean, no, no.

By the time he hit 18-months, almost overnight, he suddenly loves puzzles and could complete a lot of the puzzles we have in the house. He is thrilled to see himself on the video-cam playback, and keeps wanting me to film him doing puzzles.

I thank God for these wonderful moments spent with him.

(Of course, X. can be difficult. He’s not always an angel. I definitely don’t want to be like most American moms to always hail and praise their kids. And I don’t want to be the harsh and punishing Asian mom that always denigrate her children. Where/what is a good balance?)