Xuanie’s linguistic bloopers

Chinese probably has more homonyms than most other languages in the world. Xuanie has some cute bloopers with them. One of his favorite cartoon series is “Babars” on DVD. There’s the rhino, and I always tell him it has got horns (角- jiao3) on his nose. Each time I say that, X. would point to his legs before pointing to his nose (脚- also jiao3).

Today, we went to a field on campus. He made a gesture to show that he remembered that the last time we were there, he had diarrhea and I changed him right under a tree. I said, “yes, you “拉肚子” (literal meaning: pull stomach). He took it literally, and pulled his shirt and tummy. Idiomatic expressions are not easy, no? Especially not for a baby!

Caring for the parents

I asked B. to give me a “crack” – simple chiropractic moves I learnt from L. back in the Chicago days. Xuanie didn’t understand and thought B. was trying to hurt me or something. He looked so distressed and angry, and started beating B. and trying to get him away from me. He even climbed onto B.’s back and struck him hard on his head.

It was so very touching for me, to see X. defending me with all his might.

Much as I like his caring for me and defending me, I hope he’ll not be burdened with having to take care of me when I am old. I want to be independent and healthy and kicking, so he will not have any worries. Even if I am frail when old, I want him to be able to lead his life happily without having to worry about me.

A child is a mother’s heart that’s worn outside the body

Nothing to qualify. It is so.

X. at the playground & more

Yesterday, Xuanie showed he’s capable of defending himself against bigger boys (certain conditions apply, of course). One boy, who looked about 4 years of age, came up to him to snatch the fire-truck he was playing with. Xuanie screamed with a loud shrill at the boy, sending him running away to his mother. That boy cried for the next 10 min at least. Xuanie however was completely oblivious to what he had done.

There were exhibits of his gentler side too. He was super sweet to a younger baby, a 15-month, whom I found out, was also “Oscar” but spelled with a “k.” He grabbed a mini-toy excavator for him, and was very careful not to bump into him when  he was pushing his trucks about. There was a bigger girl who slid down a declining rod and crashed into him. Instead of being upset, Xuanie got up quickly and patted the girl’s head, and checked her knees to make sure she was not badly hurt.

Oh, I should have this on record, for I believe this behavior will go away when he grows up: Xuanie likes to kiss me on wherever I get hurt. The other day, I dramatically demonstrated to him that pine needles hurt as we walked along a row of pine shrubs. He anxiously grabbed my hand and kissed it; it’s his way of soothing my “pain.” When I bumped my head against a tree branch as we were practising tree climbing on another occasion, he wanted me to bend down so he could pat me on the head and kissed me on the “wound.”

Babies can be so sweet. I know I will miss having him as a little toddler when he gets older, just as I now miss him as a little newborn. But, this reminds me that I must cherish him every moment.

P.S. – I’m having second thoughts about sending him to daycare as early as next week. That daycare with vacancy is not the greatest place in the area. Maybe I’ll just keep waiting on the wait-list of other places? I am not at all confident I will find a job anytime soon. I realize how handicapped I am in the job search situation . . . alas, but I must not go into that realm of complaints and regrets and negative thoughts. At least not here, where I hope someday Xuanie will be reading.

Holy Communion

My only purpose in driving almost 2 hours each way to go to church yesterday was to partake of the Holy Communion. It turned out that the service schedule was a little different from the one I was used to (in Chicago church). I had a hard time trying to keep Xuanie awake. The sermons felt super long-winded, and by 2 p.m. the foot-washing was not even done. Finally, we made it. Xuanie didn’t like the bread (just as he does not like most food). But, he wanted more of the grape juice, and was upset he couldn’t.  I find that cute. He’s too young to appreciate the significance yet, so I don’t think this is being irreverent.

This is his 2nd Holy Communion. May he have a part with God always, and be raised again when Christ comes again.

“Shhhue …” for Xuanie

Xuanie knows his name now, and this morning, he referred to himself as “sshue”/”xue” in pinyin. A big feat for a little boy. (No doubt, he’s not speaking as much as other babies of his age do, but what’s the rush?)

Participation in Psych Experiments

 

Xuanie went for his 3rd and final volunteer session at the Yale Infant Cognition lab today. He will be too old to be a participant in an infant lab. Today’s experiment required him to give treats to either the good guy or the bad guy. The good guy is the wooden puppet that helped another puppet up a hill. The bad guy is the one that pushed another puppet down a hill. Xuanie gave the treat to the good guy. Yeah! That’s what they are finding in this study, that kids do prefer the good guys over the bad guys

A recent research paper reported that older kids (4 to 7 years old) behaved as most adults in preferring (a) related people, (b) people who have shown kindness to self and (c) people who have been kind to others, over others (comparable to “bad guys”).

What’s interesting too is that during the ”training” of giving out treats, Xuanie gave a treat to every of the puppets present, making sure no one misses out on the treats. What a kind and fair baby! When the experimenter asked if he’d like to help her give out treats to puppets, Xuanie smiled so widely and happily. He loves to do nice things. (I hope he’ll always remain a kind-hearted person.)

Feeling insecure

On some days, I get moments when I wonder what I have been up to in my life up to now. I have no marketable skills, and even though I may appear good on paper to some people, I really have nothing to show for it and it is really only an appearance. I wonder if it’s possible for me to get back to work, find someone who is willing to hire me, and get back some confidence, learn some new things etc, you know, get a life, and feel useful . . .

Screaming baby

There are times when I just hate motherhood, hate being married, hate being married to the man I married. Good thing is, the times I hate motherhood are rare. Unfortunately, when it happens, it has potential for great danger. Actually, it usually happens when I am driving and Xuanie is screaming the roof of the car off.

Today, he had another bout of that. Consequently, I hit a road bump and that sent him thinking I purposely drove in a way to scare him/harm him. He wailed even louder, tears gushing down at full speed. Did I mention that X. is capable of wailing non-stop and getting all drenched in his own tears and sweat, all the way from Boston to New Haven? Did I mention that the only time I ever crashed the car, in spite of my hopelessly lousy driving skills, was when I backed into a stationary trailer, because I was in a daze wondering how to pacific the irritable whinning baby seated in the back? Did I mention I stopped in the shoulder of I-90 and got off to tend to X., not realizing that I left the gear on “drive”? A screaming baby is a dangerous baby, period.

Times like these, my sanity crashes.

Xuanie turning 21-month tomorrow

X. is turning 21-month tomorrow. He’s still such a baby. He likes to be held and cuddled. Two days ago, I was talking about his younger days, how he cried with the baby-ish sounds. Immediately, he mimicked the cries of little infants and smiled, making sure I know he’s still a little baby. And, alas, he still is not weaned (his favorite food is still breastmilk, arrggh!).

But, I often remind myself that he will be a baby small enough for me to hold for only this bit of time. Soon, he’s going to not want mommy this much anymore. It’s such a blessing to have a baby to hold. I need to enjoy this blessing gratefully.

Was up late last night surfing the site of Kids in Danger. It’s a not-for-profit org. started by my two mentors when their 16-month old son died in an accident involving a recalled crib that was not actually *recalled.* Reading their story the umpteenth time, I am still almost in tears when I read how the mother held the child’s body at the hospital. B. says I’m always obessive about everything. That’s only because he’s not a mother.

A decision has been made to send X. to daycare . . . my paranoia . . . well, X. is waking up now, gotta go. That baby always wakes up angry and crying until he gets mommy/breastmilk.