New developments in Speech

Xuanie is finally able to produce words in strings and not just repetitions of monosyllabic sounds. This is pretty delayed for his age group, but not so for those in multi-lingual environments (?? ). It’s a big relief and great joy for us parents. Even if he’s slower, I’m not bothered. Life is not about being on par with others, whoever the target groups are, in comparison. No one is born with the same assets to begin with. The most important thing is to keep improving and to enjoy the process.

His favorite phrase yesterday was “south parka” (South Park). And, he mixes languages in one phrase, such as “xiao (small) car” and “one kou (bite).” 

Sometimes, listeners get confused not knowing which language he’s using. Yesterday, when he was playing with some snow-peas, he kept saying “pi” and his dad delightfully thought he was saying “pea.” I realized he actually meant the “Pi” (Skin – i.e. pod) when I noticed he was trying to rip the snow pea apart, so he could get to the “dou dou” (pea).

His Swedish is not as good as his English and Mandarin. But, he understands it enough even when it is me speaking those few phrases I know in the most horrible accent and flawed pronunciations. He even laughed when I asked, “Vill du ha vatten?” (Do you want some water?)

One thing I noticed is that he is very keen to use English. I guess he understood that English is the language most people around us are using, and only mama and a few friends speak Mandarin, and probably no one else other than dad and his family speak Swedish.

Stomach flu

Xuanie got the stomach flu. Started vomiting last Fri afternoon, and could not keep anything down for the next 4 days. Went in to Emergency Care once. Got 2 calls by the Health Services twice to bring him in. The second call came in this noon, I replied that I didn’t have the car today. When I hung up, I wondered if the nurse thought I must be a crazy mom, allowing her son to be on the verge of dehydration and still refusing to bring him in.

Little X. refused to drink nor eat because he associated them with throwing up. When I finally brought him into the doctor’s, they were relieved for he was not dehydrated. But the doctor strongly encouraged me to be more positive and to work harder to get food and drink into X., who has fallen off the charts in his weight curve. The doctor even said that if X. loses any more weight, he will have to admit X. in the hospital for intravenous feeding. (Ask anyone who’s seen me try to feed him, I am a super food-conscious mom, but X. seems to have some genetic streak in him that causes him to simply not like food/eating, except broccoli and rice.)

Poor little baby – you can see his rib-cage now, both front and back, and his little arms are like tooth-picks. Still he tries to play and continues to be super hardworking and helpful, e.g. helping me wash his soiled clothes.

I hope he’ll always be a happy guy, in sickness and in health.

One!

Xuanie likes to say “One!” and always holds up his pointer finger. “One” to him means:

1) just this once (e.g. wanting to nurse in the middle of the night)

2) one more time (e.g. after having watched the same movie clip 10 times), 

3) just a little while (e.g. wanting me to stay with him at the daycare), 

4) just a little bit (e.g. asking for his favorite, unhealthy, snack a.k.a. cheese doodles)

Moral and Linguistic Development

Xuanie has started showing moral/ethical understanding. An example: When we read the story of Moses, he didn’t like the princess who picked Moses up from the river. He shakes his head, and even “beats up” the princess. Whenever he messed up, like breaking a toy or pouring water on the floor, and we asked him who did it, he would point to himself and says, “Sheu” (for Xuanie). Good honesty. He does not have fear of punishment, which may be a good sign that he feels secure and loved.

(One exception however, is that he likes the character played by Cate Blanchett in Indiana Jones 4. He watched snippets of it, and kept asking for “Jie-Jie”/sister.  The scene of the giant ants made him really concerned, and he kept worrying and asking later on about “Jie-Jie” because Cate Blanchett was hanging on a rope.)

Linguistically, he has began to understand that words can be orthographically represented. He understands that the name label on his water bottle spells his name and he tries to “read” it. The label says “Oscar,” but of course he does not quite know yet that he’s Oscar so he “reads” it as “Sheu”/Xuanie.

Forgiving/Resilient Babies

I think babies are very forgiving & resilient little beings. They have so many things to conquer almost everyday of their lives. From learning hold up their necks to sit up, from sitting up to crawling and then standing up and walking . . . and more challenges come their way as they develop.

Xuanie tries very hard to “talk” and communicate. Half the time, we ended our conversations with, “Mama does not understand.” Inspite of his gestures and multi-sound sentences, he has a hard time conveying all that he wants to share, simply because he cannot produce most words/sounds he actually understands. Yet, he almost never get angry nor frustrated. He simply looks at me wide-eyed, and sometimes with a nod, and then move on to do other things.

Breakthrough?

Xuanie was playing happily with his friends when we went to pick him up. A miracle. One of only 2 times that he was not crying, and it’s his 4th week now. Of course, he cried when we left him in the morning. And, still he didn’t eat all day nor sleep. (At least he drank a little bit of water, which is a big acheivement.) We’ll see what happens . . .

Things look hopeful. This evening, he was re-enacting school using me and his little teddy bear as students and he as the teacher. I have been trying to simulate/pretend play the activities in school all this time but today is the first time he actually pretends to be the teacher. Circle time – he sat down with a book and “read” the book to us, jibberish of course, in his cute little voice. He even helps to clean and change diaper for the teddy, wipe down the table and chairs and clean up the room as his teachers do after they eat.

“It’ll kick in” one teacher said. Maybe it’s finally happening. Maybe I should start on my job search. 

Whatever it is, whether or not he continues at daycare, I want him to have the least stress and trauma. He’s a baby, so he deserves to be carefree. He’s a human being, so he deserves to be happy. Daycare should be helping him to make friends and learn many things I cannot impart to him, not to convenience me or his dad.

Toddlers experience more stress at daycare than at home

I have been meaning to do some Lit. search on effects of daycare on toddlers. Sending a child to daycare/school at an early age (before 5) can have benefits for their cognitive development. HOWEVER, reports from studies done at one of the labs at the Institute of Child Development (UMN), 7 out of 10 toddlers (age 16 to 38 months) attending daycare full-time have higher levels of cortisol release at daycare than at home. For infants, there is no difference in stress levels at home or at daycare. Cortisol is a hormone that the body releases when it undergoes stressful situations. This explains why kids at daycare centers get sick more easily. It is NOT only because they are exposed to other “germs” from other babies. It is because their immunity system is simply weakened from the stress they go through, day in day out.

Such stress can have an impact on the social-behavioral development of a child. Negatively. Unless the child is pre-wired to be able to handle stress like a pro. The implication is that quality daycare is so important, especially since placing children in a daycare is inevitable for 60% of American women, ‘cos they gotta go to work/want to go to work.

Implication for my family and Xuanie: Does he really need to go through such stress, when I am here at home blogging away???? Things would have been different if he had been sent to daycare from when he was an infant. Now, he has much to cope with. My heart breaks to see him struggle every morning, begging me in tears, saying, “Mama, no, no. Zuo (Sit), Jia (home).” Who knows what goes on inside him those hours he’s away from home. What are the costs and benefits we’re talking about here!!!

懂事的孩子

I know some may disagree, but Xuanie is really trying to act brave and be strong when we drop him off at the daycare each morning. Today, he started tearing when he realized we’re leaving the house and he’s all dressed this early in the day. He kept saying, “no, no.” At the daycare, he nodded his head when I said I would pick him up later, and he moved over to hang on to the teacher. I could see it in his face, how he was trying so hard to hold back his tears. As the good-byes linger, the tears fell down. Still, he nodded his head, and motioned us to leave. As I turned my back, he started  crying aloud, but clinging on to the teacher.

He is such a mature baby. He always wants to make mama happy. Even if he has to do something he dreads. I pray that things will ease up for him soon. It’s his third week at the daycare. When he tries so hard, I wish I could just keep him at home with me. Such a 懂事的孩子.

Sweet

X.  has started liking sweet things, albeit a selective list of them. He likes chocolates and always wanted to try coca-cola. He’s sometimes a orange/apple juice addict. He loves to try candy of all sorts, even licorice ones that only some Swedish people like (but he spits out most of them after the first two bites).

And I thought he was so different from most other kids. Nevertheless, I don’t want him to go in the direction of empty calories.