Totally random here

From time to time, this song comes back to my mind. It’s sung in Cantonese, so the lyrics may seem a little weird to those who can read Chinese but does not know Cantonese. A friend introduced me to this song when I was stupidly trying to get over someone who is totally not worth it. Ah, the stupidity and foolishness. Life went on, and things can be good again, and things go up and down as life goes on. One must go on, even in times when it seems impossible to go on . . .

 

他喜欢的是你

曲 : 彭海桐词 : 黄伟文编 : 刘祖德 演唱: 梁咏琪

为何力求完美 仍然被人嫌弃 即使花过无穷力气

但你挥挥手 不必喘气 就已得到他 没半点反击余地

如能共谐连理 闲言我也没理 只想得到 情人包庇

但我偏心卻待你偏心

竟选结果 犹豫内定 怎去共你比 就算不甘心输给你

都不得不下台 他喜欢的是你 如何尽情落力 来学你

仍没法扭转他的心理 看得起

就算花一生饰演你 演得多么细腻 无人伴我入戏

他想拥抱的是你

危难时就算抛开我 也为你展开两臂 (连夜排过的好戏 却留待你演出结尾)

为何别人能够 为何我却没

天资不够 如何补救

若我也似你 会扮作天真

也许有天 会得他 几秒着紧

How to Raise a Happy Child (and Human Being)

This is a question I’ve been tossing in my head, even before I became a mom.

While one’s well-being in later life is not simply a direct, one-factor consequence of how one is raised, whether one is a happy person must have something to do with how one’s parent(s) treat him/her.  

I believe that Xuanie is faring much better than what his mama has had as a child. Nevertheless, there’s still much to be improved.

Anyhow, some nuggests gathered from my random reads, among many others:

* Self-esteem (which is linked to, but not to be equated with the next one)

* Praise – moderately, not generically, not vague, un-attainable ones

* Positive attitude – towards everything (BEWARE negative criticisms)

* Resilience – can’t pamper the child overly

* Passion – should be allowed!

* Relationships (human beings not things, and definitely, not buy, buy, buy)

* Caring for others

* This one’s my own – care for self (Self-abnegation does not mean one cares about others, it only makes one ignorant of how to be happy, as I have learned.)

* Savor moments, just enjoy

* Laugh – at things/situations, about things/situations, even about people (but not at people). Just laugh, for it has physical benefits, if nothing else.

* Work – yes, do some good work, productive, useful work, always.

* Rest 

* God – last on this list here today, but His importance ranks #1. Have God in everything. In all things, revere Him.

Anyone reading this is welcome to add to my list, which is not exhaustive, for I am still thinking, thinking . . . and I know it might be a list for me too – how tobe a happy person from now on.

A Kodak moment

For me, at least.

It’s always hard to get X. to sleep. Each night, the wind-down time is at least 2 hours, from actually getting onto bed, reading, doing puzzles, yelling, hugging etc etc.

He always says, “Mama hug” and would hold on tight to me. Once I said, “You gotta sleep now. No baby hugs the mama all the time. Do you know of any baby who keeps hugging his mama when sleeping?” It was a rhetorical question, of course.

X., however, nodded and with the little light in the room, I could see he was smiling as if in bliss. Then he pointed to himself and said, “Xue.”

How could I not hug him tight? Awww.

Puzzles

Mom-in-law commented that when B. was Xuanie’s age, he was intrigued with puzzles, and not as fiesty and “ADHD” (my word) as Xuanie. But, when I sit down with X. to work on jig-saw puzzles, he is all focused and I know he really LOVES to do it. He’s just got mama’s spicy genes and like most kids, a little hyper (or maybe a little like his attention-deficit mama).

Second opinions

I write this blog partly with the hope that someday Xuanie will get to read it, and to know how much Mama loves him. So, maybe it’s also appropriate to leave some little words of experience and wisdom here for him.

(I actually started this blog after I read about “The Last Lecture” which I eventually went on to read.  In case anyone who reads my blog does not know about the book: Randy Pausch, the author, gave a “last lecture” as a dying 47-year-old, at Carnegie Mellon, where he was a professor. His book was meant as a legacy for his 3 children, who will grow up with little or no memory of him, the youngest being only 2. He succumbed to pancreatic cancer last July.)

So, what about second opinions. I grew up with a mother who thinks that doctors are gods and know everything. If a doctor says something, it must be it. So, all her life, she has swallowed pills that will probably last me 100 lifetimes. But,  as with most people for me, doctors are to be taken with hmm, a loadful of salt.

I started losing hearing on my right ear after Xuanie was born. I wonder if it was due to the long labor I had, and unsuccessful pushing for more than 2 hours. Anyways, I have seen at least 7 medical workers, including 4 doctors and 2 ENT specialists. Most have prescribed anti-biotics thinking it was an ear-infection. Lucky for me, I refused to believe them and never subject my body to all those unncessary anti-biotics. It turned out that there’s water retention in my middle ear. After much popping of my ears and nasal sprays, and two ENT specialists, the cause of my loss of hearing has been identified.

I have a growth in the back of my nose. Something is there, some blob, and it’s causing the water retention. So, it’s going to be a CAT-scan and possibly a light procedure for taking out some tissue for biopsy. The doctor says to not panic yet, as nothing is known right now.

Of course, I wish it had been as easy as an infection, and anti-biotics would have solved the problem. But, what were all the other doctors thinking???? Why did they not even consider the fact that the long-term water retention, in the middle ear, is NOT an infection, and might be something else. Did you not know people of Chinese descent has a higher risk of nose cancer? Why did they not even think to check inside the nose in the first place? 

So, although it sounds a little scary for me now, I am happy I got to see this new ENT. My prayer now is that whatever the blob is, it’s not cancer. I want to live on, live on well, to take care of Xuanie, until he is able to be independent and does not need me anymore.

Moral of the lesson: Doctors are guilty unless proven innocent. Beware.

Both Xuanie and Mama like this song

I was playing a children’s song in the car, and when I came to a red light,  I turned and said to Xuanie that it’s one of mama’s favorite.  Xuanie shook his head and said, “Shue,” pointing to himself. And, here goes a very sweet moment for me, and for him:

Mama: “Xuanie likes this song?” 

X. nodded with a smile

Mama: “Oh, it’s Shue’s favorite?” 

X. said, “No, Mama.”

Mama: “Oh, it’s a favorite of both Mama and Xuanie?”

X. nodded happily with a wide grin.

A kodak moment, which film cannot capture.

(P.S. – X’s at daycare now. I want to go pick him up early. Blowed my fuse quite often these few days as he wakes me up at around 4 a.m. each day, causing severe sleep deprivation for me. I feel very very lousy yelling at him. He’s only a baby. I must remember that, so he is free to do baby things, however annoying it may be to grown-ups.)