When u feel down

Whether it’s because of failed expectations, nasty people, uncontrollable circumstances …. just life itself, ha, ha.

Still, life must go on. One must do what needs to be done, in a nice way, in a responsible way, in a professional way. It’s ok to feel down.

I have friends who say they absolutely do not want any unhappy thoughts penned down on their blogs. I think it’s fine. If Little X. ever reads this blog, which is for him, it’s good for him to understand that life has its ups and downs. It’s natural. But you gotta do what you gotta do, and as best as you can, and do it knowing that it’s important to rejoice in the Lord always. (Phil 3:4).

“See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1Thess 5:15 – 18).

Peace in God in perilous times

“The Lord is my strength and my song, and He has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise Him, my father’s God and I will exalt Him.” (Ex 15:2)

We live in a perverse and chaotic world today. Painful news of suffering caused by senseless doings of misguided people can be heard everyday. Yesterday, I read about Baby Moshe, the orphan of the Jewish rabbi found crying next to the bodies of his parents who were shot by senseless militants who went on a killing rampage in Mumbai. He just turned 2, and oh, the sorrows he’s witnessed. At his parents’ memorial service, he was crying for his mother (who will never show up again for him).

As a mom, I want a better world, a more peaceful world for Xuanie, and for all other little ones who will grow up to be the future of today’s world. I always thank God that Xuanie has a mama and papa to love and take care of him as he grows. And, of course I thank God that I have Xuanie to grow old with. What tomorrow holds, we don’t know. But, I pray that Xuanie will always have peace because of God. May you always have a song towards God in your heart, whether in sorrowful tunes or happy lyrics. For when God is revered and worshipped no matter what happens, you shall find strength and salvation. 

God is not just a God for us to pray and ask for things. We often equate miracles or good happenings from prayers with good faith. We forget that God is God, and He is to be praised under all circumstances. It’s OK to cry to him in tears, to question, for with a sincere heart, all tears will find resolutions and peace. (That’s my lesson from last Sat’s sermon.)

As an aside, D. mentioned during his visit that a good sermon is one that echoes in your heart after you walk out of the chapel. Alas, so many sermons today have no such power. Yet, there are still those that stuck in my heart, even year after year . . . it’s important to have those messages in our hearts. It’s important to hold God’s words in our hearts, and have them echo in our hearts. The words of God will grant us the peace we need in perilous times.

True faith in God

Daniel 3:16 – 18 has always been a favorite section of the Bible – ” . . . our God whom we serve is able to deliver us . . . But if not, let it be known to you, O King, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up.” Faith in God is not just a belief, an experience. It is a decision to hold on to Him no matter what happens.

I hear testimonies of our church in Congo from recent sermons I downloaded online. Some of our brethren there have lost their homes, children, everything due to the recent civil war. There are some who are even living in refugee camps, more specifically, in a little tent provided by relief sources. Yet, they continue to believe in God and hold on to the faith.

In comparison, my life and those of most people living in peaceful domains, is a life of luxury. Yet, the littlest of “setbacks” can easily make us complain, frustrated and even dejected. I should feel ashamed of myself. I thought of how I got into another bout of “depression” just 2 days ago, indulging myself in a deep sense of failure and hopelessly devoid of gratitude for what I have. A psalm from today’s sermon serves as a good little nudge – Ps 42.

The true members in Congo set their hearts on God’s kingdom. Nothing in this world will shake them. It’s a very hard lesson for most people; definitely so for me. “Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vine. Though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food . . . Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.” To hope in God, and to find joy in Him alone – that’s the only way to help us get through any hardship in this world, without going astray from the true faith (Habakkuk 3:17 – 19).

This is my Father’s World

The day I found out I was pregnant, I went straight from the clinic to a store to get myself some cashew nuts (just because I love nuts), with the thought that I need extra nutrition now that I have a life I’m responsible for. Of course, I went on to have a big lunch, and for the next 8 months, plenty of big lunches, breakfasts, dinners and snacks. Oh, one of the wonderful things about being pregnant is that one could eat up a whole truck load of food each meal and not feel guilty. Then, there are other changes, e.g. I got super paranoid (yes, it’s possible to be MORE paranoid than I normally am) and extra careful in everything.

Nature’s maternal instinct? Perhaps. As a mom, I want to shield my child from anything harmful. I want to give him my best and my all. I wish I could live forever to take care of him. Of course, I know he will grow up, and I hope he’ll find someone who loves him to death and whom he loves to spend the rest of his life. Yet, my protection, my love, anyone else’s love . . . all these are but human efforts, and hence inadequate. That’s why my wish for Little Xuanie is that he will be a man after God’s heart, and favored by God and man. For only God is the real anchor in this tumultous sea of life.

The sermon I heard today reminded me again of the most fundamental truth one must hold on to. Genesis 1:1 – In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. This is my Father’s world. If we are of God, there’s nothing to fear in this world. “He who did not spare His own Son but delievered Him up for us all, how shall He not also freely give us all things?” (Rom 8:32). I cannot live forever to take care of Little Xuanie. Little Xuanie will grow up and move on to spheres where I am not capable of helping him except to pray for him and offer moral support. But, with God, there’s nothing to fear. Which is why I hope you’ll always always hold on to God and be true to Him. God bless. Puss.

As an aside: Here’s one of my favorite songs. I like to think it speaks of my father’s love for me, for he loves me and gives me his all. It’s now my song for Little X.

曲名：风雨无阻  

歌手：周华健

 

给你我的全部 
你是我今生唯一的赌注 
只留下一段岁月 
让我无怨无悔
全心的付出 
怕你忧伤 怕你哭 
怕你孤单 怕你糊涂 
红尘千山万里路
我可以朝朝暮暮 

 

 

给你一条我的路 
你是我一生不停的脚步 
让我走出一片天空 
让你尽情飞舞 放心的追逐 
爱是漫长的旅途 
梦有快乐 梦有痛苦 
悲欢离合人间路 
我可以缝缝补补

 

 

提着昨日种种千辛万苦 
向明天换一些 美满和幸福 
爱你够不够多 对你够不够好 
可以要求 不要不在乎 
不愿让你看见 我的伤处 
是曾经无悔的风雨无阻 
拥有够不够多 梦得够不够好 
可以追求 不认输