Crust of bread

Xuanie has just started to accept toast with peanut butter. I would cut off the crust for him and the rest of the hour or more, I would be coaxing him to chew and swallow his food (as with most other food I offer). It’s easy if he agrees to eat bread for breakfast, so I don’t have to cook rice or noodles for him.

For some reason, I always think of a scene in the movie “Closer” when I cut the crust off the bread for him:

Natalie Portman character: Who cut off your crust?

Jude Law character: Me.

NP: Did your mother cut off your crust when you were a little boy?

JL: Yes, I believe she did.

NP: You should eat your crust.

Xuanie’s first receipt of a love letter

Xuanie met a new friend on a cruise on a ferry. She wrote a little note for him and passed it to me, saying she’d like to play with him. In her note, she said her name is M. and she found Xuanie to be “smart, kind and cute” etc. etc. They were playing for quite sometime, until another girl came along.

This other girl, S., told B. she’s noticed Xuanie since we got on the ferry and she wanted to play with X. too. She used her brother’s hand-held computer game to catch X.’s attention, quite successfully. Later, all three of them went to join another group of girls, but X. was playing with cars while the girls played with dolls.

It was funny when M. started offering juice and food to X. to try to “get him back.”

B. concluded that to win X.’s heart, technology and cars would be the best weapons. Our friend Khaled says X. loves good food, cars and women. Not sure that’s necessarily good, and hope it’s not true.

The cruise ended well, with M. leaving X. her phone number, and S. happily saying “hejda.”

Porsche versus Mama

A friend from London is visiting and so B. and him rented a two-seater Porsche so they could cruise around like what guys like to do. Xuanie was thrilled with the Porsche. He went on short rides with them, and alone with Papa. He was never this happy to be seated in the car-seat strapped to the passenger seat.

When we were going out of Stockholm to Dolaro, we had to take another car in addition to the 2-seater. Our friend said that the only constant was having Xuanie in the passenger seat of the Porsche and we have to figure out who to drive it and who to take the other car.  I didn’t want to drive an expensive rented car, what if I crash it?

Xuanie solved the problem for us by insisting that he and Mama will take grandma’s car. He didn’t want to be in the exhilarating Porsche. He wanted to be with Mama.

It was so sweet of him, for I know he loved to ride in that convertible.

A good quote

Read a quote cited to be by the Dalai Lama, and some of his philosophies on life, in an NYT article by Pico Iyer:

Happiness is not pleasure . . . and unhappiness, as the Buddhists say, is not the same as suffering. Suffering — in the sense of old age, sickness and death — is the law of life; unhappiness is just the position we choose — or can not choose — to bring to it.

Think in terms of enemies, he suggests, and the only loser is yourself. If an arrow is sticking out of your side, he famously said, don’t argue about where it came from or who made it; just pull it out. You make your way to happiness not by fretting about it or trafficking in New Age affirmations, but simply by finding the cause of your suffering, and then attending to it, as any doctor (of mind or body) might do.

True happiness . . . doesn’t mean trying to acquire things, so much as letting go of things (our illusions and attachments). It’s only the clouds of short-sightedness or ignorance, the teachers from the Dalai Lama’s tradition suggest, that prevent us from seeing that our essential nature, whether we’re Buddhist or not, is blue sky.

Love of his life

Mama is the love, biggest love of Xuanie’s life. For now, at least. He wants Mama to share all his joys and sorrows, and fears.

He just got new socks with dinosaur motifs from his grandma who just got back from their vacation home in Grisselhamn. Immediately after putting one pair on, he shouted for Mama, and rushed down the stairs to show them to me.

Children are meant to be loved and cherished. They trust and love wholeheartedly.

I wish this for all children of the world.

Mama will become a baby

Xuanie and I sat by the window this afternoon, and Xuanie said, “let’s look at the sun (sunset?).” Then as I held him close, he said the following:

X: When Xuanie grows up, Mama will become a baby, and Xuanie will sayang and take care of Mama.

He’s such a kind baby towards Mama!

If someday you want to follow your dreams, X., and can’t take care of Mama, please go follow your dreams, for Mama will be fine.

Toddlers Can Be Hilarious

Toddlers say the funniest things sometimes.

Today, Xuanie told me (totally out of context) that he can’t see his own hair on his head.

I asked him to try to bite his own ear.

It was indeed quite a funny moment for us.

Piano versus Violin

Xuanie has constant exposure to the guitar because he goes to a music play-date sponsored by a neighborhood church, and he has a baby-guitar, that’s completely out of tune. We have an electrical piano at home, gift from a neighbor who was moving out when we first moved in. But, in terms of watching performances, it’s the violin that captivates him the most. He’s seen a lot of Vanessa Mae, and Midori too.

When I asked him which instrument he’d like to take up, he always say he wants to play the piano, and gestured with his hands and moving his fingers as if he’s on a keyboard.

Whatever the instrument, I just hope he’ll grow up appreciating music. It’s been said that those who learn music has a calmer spirit as it takes a quietened heart and discipline to pick up the skills for a musical instrument. That’s my wish for him too.

No Lang Lang for sure. Lang Lang was already playing like a pro at the age of three, no?

Of Poison and Bean Sprouts

Sometimes, I wonder what Xuanie thinks of his conversations with me. So many times, I totally misunderstood him, but carried on the conversations without realizing we were on two different tracks altogether. Two days ago, at a Korean eatery, we had one such dialogue. The cause: he has not yet grasped the ability to produced the dipthongs clearly yet. I didn’t realize the miscommunication until many hours later:

Subject of Conversation is a bowl of soup with bean-sprouts (“Dou Ya” in Mandarin)

X: Xuanie wants to eat “Du Ya” (sounds like “du yao” –  ”poison” in Mandarin).

Me: No, “du yao” cannot be eaten. Just drink the soup.

I kept telling him poison is not for eating, and half the time, I was fishing out the bean-sprouts and encouraging him to eat them.

X: Xuanie likes “du ya.”

Me: No, silly boy, you cannot eat “du yao.”

It’s tough on Mama

Went to a friend’s house for dinner a few nights ago. In their bathroom, Xuanie saw some bottles of detergent and asked what they are. I told him they’re only for grown-ups, and they’re used for cleaning the bathroom. Here’s what he said:

X: Xuanie grow up wash bathroom. (Xuanie 长大洗厕所.)

Mama: Yes, when you grow up, you can use these detergents.

X: It’s tough on Mama, Xuanie helps Mama. （Xuanie 帮妈妈，妈妈好辛苦.)

Awwww.